I Applied at a Women’s Shoe Store

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Let this be a lesson to anyone that is desperate enough to take a job at virtually any place that is hiring. You should always learn more about the company you apply to, but it’s important to make sure that you are a match.

So two years ago, I was looking for a job – any job. I applied to numerous places, desperate because my parents had been on my case about lying around the house. And then one day, it came.

It was an open interview session for a company called Aerosoles. I was excited, even though I knew I had never heard of the company – it was just a job, after all.

So the day of the interview, I spent about thirty minutes in the school library, looking though the company’s website so I would seemed informed. It was a shoe store, I gathered, though one that didn’t seem to carry many men’s shoes. But I still hadn’t caught on.

When I went into the building – it took forever to actually find – I immediately noticed I was the only guy in the room. But, I figured, most men wouldn’t want to work at a shoe store. So, I sat down and waited my turn. Finally, a young lady sitting at a table in the corner beckoned me over.

It was a pretty straight-forward process. She was the assistant manager for the district, and so she went through a sort of “pre-interview.” All was going well until she asked the question.

“So,” she asked, “why do you want to work at a women’s shoe store?”

A what? Oh, man, my face was red, I’m sure. I had known it was a shoe store, but for women? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t embarrassed.

But the lady couldn’t tell because I took it in stride.

“Well, you see,” I said, “I was looking at your website beforehand because I had never heard of the company before. And what I really like about your shoes is the innovative…” Well, you get the idea.

I don’t know what that lady was thinking, but she must not have thought too poorly of me because she asked me to go back to my seat until the main interview. Which, it turned out, was a group interview.

To me, group interviews are the worst. How it works is that multiple candidates gather around the interviewer, and then the interviewer conducts the candidates the same questions. At least, that was my experience.

You know who was asked every question last? Yep, me. So by the time it was my turn, I had to come up with a different answer than the first five candidates, which wasn’t easy. Actually, it was very embarrassing, because all of my answers were short and relatively off-point. It was very different from a one-on-one interview.

So for you bums out there for looking a job of any kind, at least know about the place you’re applying to.

This week, tell me about your awkward or funny interview experiences. Also, feel free to tell me what you want to read about next week!

If you like what you read today, feel free to subscribe! I try to have my posts every Monday at 4 p.m. Take care and have a great week!

Now Presenting: The Management of Time!

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Are you behind on your chores?

Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed with work?

Have you ever just wanted to do your homework in a timely manner?

Have you, have you ever wanted to smack your kids? M-maybe kill someone?

Er, um, well never mind about that last bit, but let us fix your other problems!

From the people who brought you “Procrastination,” check out “The Management of Time!”

This product, manufactured here at “Your Own Will and Determination, Inc.,” has helped millions across the globe accomplish tasks and achieve goals! Some of the most famous people in the world use our product!

Here’s how it works:

By applying it to your busy (or not-so-busy) schedule, “The Management of TIme” organizes your work so you can have time to accomplish EVERYTHING! But that’s not all! “The Management of Time” also provides you with the boost and motivation you actually need to do the work! Talk about amazing!

Here’s what some of our customers have to say:

“Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, “[I just need The Management of Time!]” Then get busy and find out [where you can buy it].” – Theodore Roosevelt

“The best time to [buy The Management of Time] was last year. Failing that, today will do.” – Chris Guillebeau

“Never waste any time with [The Management of Time].” – Frank Knight

So what are you waiting for? Call us today for a free 3-day trial at 1 (800) 555-5555!

Hey, guys! What do you think about time management? Is it useful like most people say? Or is it overrated? Let me know what you think in the comments below! Have a great day and be sure to subscribe for more of my antics!

Spam Is Losing Its Touch

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3…2…1…

And we’re back!

Greetings again to my dedicated followers! I’m back from my hiatus, as I mentioned two weeks ago! I know, I know, many of you can’t believe it. Well, believe it, suckers! You can keep sending me nasty e-mails and messages, but you can’t bring me down (I’m kidding; nobody ever sends me e-mails)!

Speaking of e-mails, do you know what I do receive? W-what? How did this digital issue of Juicy Booty get in here? Er, ahem. I was going to say spam….

But yes, SPAM! I figure that in this day and age, I don’t need to define the term, so I won’t! But yes! I get hundreds of spam (okay, maybe I should clarify that I’m referring to the type of e-mail…) each day, but none of it is even somewhat appealing. I mean, it’s like nobody is even trying anymore!

Check out this one, for example:

“You want a bigger Johnson? click here”

It seems legit, right? Heck, it’s even from a reputable source – Facebook! That’s right! Even social media wants spice up your sex life, huh?

Here’s another one:

“Congratulations: You have received a $1000 gift card from Walmart” – sent by Walmart

Really? I won? The company I worked at for almost a year, which I know would never just give away gift cards, gave me $1000?? All I have to do is copy and paste this very long URL into the URL bar? Yeah, okay, sure. Besides the fact that the associated website isn’t even related to Walmart, simply scrolling over the sender’s e-mail address tells me that the sender is actually “From.Walmart@bahostonline.com.” Whoops, you almost got me there!

But some times, I receive spam that has shows nothing but random letters and numbers. At least TRY to take my personal information. I mean, where’s the challenge?

This week, I want to hear some of your interesting or funny spam (the e-mail, okay?)! And tell me what you would like to see in future posts!”

If you like what you read, be sure to subscribe! I will try to post every Monday at 4 PM, so stay tuned!

Unannounced Hiatus

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Hello, my loyal servants – er – I mean, subscribers!

As you may or may not have noticed, I have not posted here for a couple of months now. I was (well, am) on a hiatus. Yes, I know, I didn’t make an announcement. But who has time for those anymore (hint: I do)?

Anyways, I’m here to inform you that within the next couple of weeks, I will return! So be on the lookout for sweet giveaways and contests in the next couple of weeks!*

*Note: There will not be any sweepstakes or giveaways in the foreseeable future.

See you then!

– Just a guy

The Mystery Turd

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A few weeks ago, in case I didn’t mention this, I landed a job. For different reasons, I won’t specify where I work, but I will say that it’s in the retail industry. Also, it’s someplace you’ve heard about, no matter how old you are.

So for these past few weeks, I’ve been spending my time either working on homework or at my job; it’s not my preferred situation, but it works. So as it is inferred, I’m still new and have lots to learn.

Well last weekend, I had to follow a coworker to a truck rental location so that I could drive him back after he dropped it off. It was pretty cool, but mostly since I was being reimbursed for it (although I later learned I was underpaid). While I was driving him back, we talked about different stuff, one of those things being cools places to hide at work. That’s when he told me about the mysterious turd.

On the top floor of the store, there are restrooms shoved in a back hallway. In that back hallway, there are two doors opposite of the restrooms. The first, a fire exit that most employees use as a shortcut to get downstairs, is closer to the front of the hallway. The second, an emergency exit that leads out of the store, is just past the restrooms.

The interesting thing about these two doors is that they both open to the same area, just to different staircases. The one closer to the front of the hallway leads directly to a staircase. The other one opens up to a short walkway before turning and descending into a staircase. But from each path, although inaccessible, the other paths are easily visible.

Are you confused yet? Don’t worry, cause I’ll clarify the point. On this second walkway, the one accessible from the door past the restrooms, is a pile of human feces. Yes, that’s right, there is a pile of human feces where I work. A pile, I might add, that hasn’t been cleaned up in the few months that it has been resting there.

First off, what compels a person to take a dump in a store? I mean, it was obviously deliberate. You literally have to pass the restrooms in order to make it to the walkway. And even if you just outright miss the restrooms, you have to open a door and walk down the walkway to take a dump in that exact same spot. I really want to know what kind of person does that.

But more importantly, I want to know why management hasn’t done anything in taking care of this dilemma, which I am told has been brought to their attention several times. I mean, I’m aware that it’s not out on the floor, but it’s still part of the store. That’s like neglecting the dying kid in the corner, even when you know he’s there.

So when I open the closer door to go downstairs, I peer over the railing and glance at the pile of feces that sits there, that smiling hunk of broken down corn. And wonder, where did it come from? From what vengeful hole did this pile emerge? Well…I suppose that’s the mystery of it.

So this week, tell me about a time you witnessed unsanitary events/objects at a store. How did you feel about it? What did you do?

Above all else, be sure to subscribe if you like what you’ve read! There will be new posts every Monday at 4 PM! Have a nice day and take care!

I Think I Accidentally Wrote a Poem

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I apologize to all of my loyal subscribers for not posting last week! I have been tied up with school and my new job, so it has been hard to balance everything. Please forgive me (this probably only applies to like…two of you).

This week, I decided to share, for the first time, a poem I wrote during class last week. We were supposed to share a story our parents would tell about us, but later turn it into a narrative poem. Since everyone in my class absolutely loved it (I was just doing it cause I had to), I thought I would share this one with you guys. I hope you enjoy!

Playing Thief
By James Nagy

I can’t resist McDonald’s hashbrowns
They are my treasure
Nobody can stop me
Look at that one
It’s on the coffee table
It’s not mine
But now it will be

Mommy is on the phone
My playmate is a baby
I crawl towards it, hand extended
Finally, I get it

I have it in my mouth
It isn’t warm anymore
But I can feel its chewiness
It was always mine

This week, tell me what you would be interested in reading about in future posts!

Above all else, be sure to subscribe if you like what you’ve read! I’ll have a new post every Monday at 4 PM (EST)! Thanks and take care!

Are My Classmates Dumb?

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I have to keep this short because I have quite a bit of homework to do, but I’ll keep this interesting nonetheless.

So last Monday, I had to submit a paper for my World Literature class. Now I admit the paper was less than interesting, but as it was required, I put in a sufficient amount of effort. When I finally had to turn it in, I was satisfied enough to claim the paper as my own.

So this last Friday, my teacher came in, more than upset. She took attendance, went over a brief class assignment, and then explained why she was so irritated.

Apparently, over half the class failed the paper. Not only did they fail, but most of them received zeroes because they couldn’t put together a coherent paper. My teacher was so upset, she explicitly said she almost killed herself. (I actually kind of laughed at that, simply because of the implication.)

So for a small handful of the class, including myself, Friday was a day to go home early. But for others, it was a day of sitting in “the hands of an angry God” (a reference from my other English class).

So this week, I want to know what you think about my blog so far. Is it effective? Or do you expect more? Let me know in the comments below!

Above all else, be sure to subscribe if you like what you’ve read! I’ll have a new post every Monday at 4 PM (EST)! Thanks and take care!